It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self

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She runs a practice on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and was the Mental Health Consultant for the Emmy and Golden Globe-winning show Mad Men. In the first year of our work together, during almost every session, Brian would plummet into states that I can describe only as wordless suffering. In addition, there is also some exploration on trauma; Big T and little t trauma and the distinction between the 2. In a world where emotional education is definitely not a priority, there are big and small traumas hiding behind everybody's daily behaviour which will explode in a way or another, there's no way around it.

Am I curious to map myself, or my companion, on the Change Triangle to understand more about what is happening? He could barely bring himself to speak, and his voice, when I managed to get anything out of him, was meek. Based on what he told me, I decided to treat him as a survivor of childhood neglect — a form of trauma. With practical examples on the therapeutic process of dealing with things, with exercises that you can do to dig into your soul, with mindset shifts and an overall bubble of acceptance, this book is the first step on the road of healing.The book is filled with exercises to develop our innate abilities of observation and mindful awareness to become more in touch and accepting of our core emotions. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Ever since I started it, it's helped me process emotions, better understand how I feel, and see exactly where and how I can get to a calm, openhearted state. In allowing ourselves to fully experience core emotions, we move toward an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear.

This book may be useful for those who lack even the slightest bit of self-awareness but I am not that person. I strongly believe it is essential reading for everyone and anyone who wants to live an emotionally healthy and fulfilling life. This takes courage because if you are rejected when being vulnerable, shame wants to kick in but courage and confidence in one’s worth can counteract that.You can change your choices at any time by visiting Cookie preferences, as described in the Cookie notice.

In It's Not Always Depression , pioneering psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel reveals the most effective techniques for putting us back in touch with the emotions we too often deny - methods which can be used by anyone, any time, anywhere. Whatever it is, the emotion was manifesting in their body - and by naming this, the patients were able to experience their core emotion and enter a state of openheartedness.

Hilary says, “shame is our physical and physiological response to primal rejection”, so when we are shut down by others, shame is triggered. Emotional education is sorely needed and I am so grateful for all the education Hilary provided in such an accessible way! The second way is by looking for your Cs and seeing if you can make a conscious shift into being them just by being aware and applying your emotional energy. The author has been able to put together so much important and relevant information and present it in such a beautiful way.