This Is Not About Me

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Maybe she can do a better job, my mother said. Maybe she can just do the bloody looking after herself. They tried to make us breastfeed, my mother said, and it was horrible. I told them I was too old, but the Sister didn’t care. It’s for baby, she said. Baby. As though you knew any different. It was too late. She was pushing forty, had a daughter who was pregnant herself. She had a nice house, a cat and a washing machine of sorts to care for. But it happened.

What is it like to be a person with autism and non-speaking in a world that has already made up its mind about you? This Is Not About Me tells the story of Jordyn Zimmerman. Jordyn dreamt of becoming a teacher. She started out eager to learn at school, but she was soon separated from the other children. Unable to communicate, teachers thought she was also unable to understand or learn. Year after year, her behavior worsened. She was restrained and placed in seclusion. Jordyn found herself caught in a system that unintentionally turned her life into a living nightmare. Finally, at the age of 18, with the help of educators who see her differently, she manages to turn her fate and flourish. There’s nothing out there, he says. Now sit. Sit there when I tell you. He points at the settee. Just bloody sit. Daphne rings up Robert; she wants to see a movie, and wants someone to go with her. Robert apologises; he has an major assignment due in two days. Daphne abuses him for being uncaring and anti-social. “It’s not about you!”, she yells. The film shares Jordyn’s many experiences which made her who she is today. About the film ‘this is not about me’ TPGA: You mentioned that people didn’t know what inclusion was when you started college. Can you explain what inclusion really means?

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Jordyn Zimmerman obtained her bachelors degree in Education Policy from Ohio University and her Masters of Education at Boston College. Having experienced special education programs while in school herself, Jordyn hopes to become a catalyst for change. As a nonspeaking student with autism who was denied access to effective augmentative communication (AAC) until she was 18, Jordyn has personal experience challenging the educational status quo, which is featured in the 2021 documentary, This Is Not About Me.

While on her college campus after a FaceTime call with her mom, Zimmerman is asked if she likes school. She shrugs her shoulders, holds for a beat and then types on her iPad ‘I like school, but sometimes not the people.’ Many people can resonate with those who have been portrayed to be cast as outsiders in society. This theme in the documentary will resonate with many viewers.

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The point of the expression, “It is not about you.”, is the implication that it is about somebody else (usually the speaker) — that what matters the most is some issue someone else has. As a rule, when someone says this, the “you” person does have a relevant issue; if the objection is correct, the point is that that issue is not as important as the issue the speaker has. Conversely, it can just mean that the “you” person is being selfish. (It is not that surprising if the speaker is actually being selfish (nor if the other party is being selfish and falsely believes that the speaker is being selfish).) The questions were stuff I’d heard before. Why was she cooking at this time of night? Who was it for? They were the kinds of questions he asked when he was in this mood, the kind that didn’t want answers. Then he did the not-questions. She knew full well he didn’t want stew. Who told her to cook stew? It wasn’t for him so who was it for? He knew how much stewing steak cost. He was going like a train when she cut in.

Filmed in an observational style, This Is Not About Me gives a glimpse into Jordyn’s daily life. The documentary takes us to Jordyn’s schools and involves interviews with teachers that worked closely with her. Jordyn guides us through difficult moments in her childhood. Piece by piece, her story reveals how professionals misunderstood her and pushed her deeper into a broken education system. Despite this system, Jordyn thrived, but her story is not one in a million. There are thousands of students like Jordyn who have something to say. It was only when her attempts led to baby throwing up enough blood to coat her top sheets, twice, that she was let stop.

The repetitive motion and rhythm of running definitely helped to stimulate and regulate my body so I could handle more of the sensory input I was processing each day.