Taking Charge of Her Marriage: A FLR Tale of Spanking, Figging, and Pegging

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The plain fact is, many men in these relationships want it to feel like discipline is imposed, i.e., that it’s going to happen whether they like it or not. It reminds me of a comment from a disciplined husband on a blog, discussing the topic of getting spanked for attitude. Spanking your man is a great deal of fun, and there is no reason to feel limited by schedules to enjoy it. Adding additional spankings in any situation or style only increases the over all effectiveness of your training, reinforcing your authority and control. Spanking can be enjoyed while you play or make love, at random unannounced times, through additional spanking sessions above and beyond maintenance, and any other time you decide. Unlike the other two types, which are about him as much as they are about you, these enjoyment spankings are mostly about you - your fun, your stress relief, your feelings of strength and control, and the deep satisfaction you can get from having your man love you enough to endure some discomfort to bring you joy. Your man should experience great satisfaction in being able to make you happy through in such a simple way. The frequency of pleasure spankings are how ever often you feel like it, which might well become quite often. The intensity and duration of these spankings depends entirely on whatever you feel like at the time, usually from low to high.

I know some would object to that kind of top-down decision-making on such an important issue. But in the absence of an agreed-upon hierarchy, what is the alternative? Just defaulting to the status quo? As I wrote in another article, most of us are such devoted egalitarians these days — or aspire to be — that we never seriously question whether perfectly equal, flat power structures might have downsides. While I dreaded what I knew was coming, the almost immediate drop in negative energy I’d been devoting to ruminating about the problem made me rethink some of my skepticism about using adult disciplinary spanking to solve big problems. Big problems are complex problemsConsider this: Lady Vanessa and her beloved, Daniel. Vanessa commands him to present himself for his maintenance spanking. There’s no questioning, no excuses, just submission to the ritual. She chooses her favourite paddle and, with firm, even strokes, reminds him of his place. And Daniel? He treasures these moments as a reaffirmation of their unique bond. Real” seems to be a very important adjective for men interested in Female Led disciplinary relationships. We want spankings to be “real” spankings, i.e. painful and hard to take. We need them to arise from real situations, i.e. we want them to be for real offenses. And, we want them imposed in a way that feels like exactly that — like they are being imposed on us, whether we like it or not. For the uninitiated, ‘maintenance spanking’ might sound like a bit of work around the house, but dear ones, it’s more akin to the upkeep of the dynamics in your love nest. Unlike other forms of impact play that are tied to misbehaviour, discipline, or sensual foreplay, maintenance spanking is a scheduled event; a routine, if you will, that serves to reinforce roles, remind of obligations, and let’s be honest, it can be rather titillating. Maintenance Spanking Why use Maintenance Spanking?

She was a natural in this authoritative/disciplinarian position. She was stern and in control the whole time. Not yelling or wailing the belt all over. She just gave me a REAL, very harsh domestic discipline spanking. One that brought tears to my eyes. One that I felt for days every time I went to sit down or lean against something. One that taught me a lesson that I did not soon forget. FLR Our Way First of all, I hate it when my wife spanks me, but it”s part of our relationship. I’ll tell you how we first got into it, how she does it, and then I’ll confess to a little white lie that she has no clue about. (if she did, I’d have a permanently red butt)When I say female ‘wear’, I may actually want her naked for the day or evening but she has to wear high heels, wig and have her face and nails made up as a minimum. Maintaining this discipline establishes my authority and control since Alice never actually wanted to be a girl although she has become accustomed to it over time.

And, of course, I now had a reason to wish I had managed it, and in a more proactive, adult-like way. This kind of direct punishment is much more likely to affect the kinds of changes you want to see in your husband and is much more compassionate than the usual repertoir used by most wives. In most marriages a wife feels despair over certain of her husband habits or behaviors because she feels those behaviors have more power over her than she has over her husband. This depair leads her to “punish” her husband in indirect ways as I have mentioned. She pouts, she tries to ignore him, she rolls her eyes when he speaks, she gives him the silent treatment, she withholds her affection, she tells him he is not as good a husband as other men she knows, she may even threaten to leave him. The underlying dynamic here is that the only power the wife feels she has is the power to reject her husband. The ultimate weapon, then, is divorce. Some of us take it a step further and say that once we’ve consented to the disciplinary relationship, she can take a “for any reason” approach to how to apply it. While my wife has full authority to decide the “why, when, and where” aspects of the disciplinary side of the relationship, I would describe it as a “soft” FLR with respect to other decision-making. We make most big decisions together, and so far there have been few impasses. In fact, many if not most of us say that we want her to have the sole discretion to determine whether a disciplinary spanking has been earned. The couple may have agreements or understandings around the kind of behavior that is presumed to be punishable, but she gets to decide when the agreed-upon rules or standards have been transgressed and whether to do something about it.

The Razor Strap (Strop)

People who are into purely erotic spankings may incorporate elements of discipline or punishment into their play. But, it’s not really discipline or punishment, because it’s not about accountability or correcting behavior. It’s about sex and eroticism. He was nervous, but concealed it well. “So, why are you here?” she queried. “I believe you know why” he said, trying to seem stern. “Of course I do, but I enjoy hearing you tell me.” She stood close to his chair, and looked down at him, smirking. “It’s my birthday.” “And…” she prompted. There is absolutely nothing wrong with exploring fantasies, but it’s not really what most men in FLRs are looking for. In fact, the more it feels like role play, the less they are into it. Consensual non-consent, blanket consent, and “for any reason”

I have shared before that Leukemia has caused a lot of changes in my life. Little things like I had a glass of apple juice every morning when I got up for decades. Suddenly, the taste of apple juice was most unappealing. Several other foods were out.Basically, we’re consenting to her using her best judgment about the “why, when, and how” issues, particularly the “why.” What??? I tried getting up, but my wife was having non of that & no trouble holding me in place (I’m 5’10” 165lbs. & she’s 6’2″ 190lbs.).