Daft Dictionary (Microfax Jokes Books)

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A teacher asks two girls that look exactly alike, the following questions: Are you from the same family? Do you have the same parents? Were you born on the same day? The girls answered yes to all of the questions but in the end, they were not twins. How is this possible? I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Keep your kids amused by showing them this, our list of 110 of the best simple or silly jokes kids will love. The thing with most dad jokes, is that you’ve heard them all before. Thousands of times. From your own dad. Dinner time comes and they all sit down and open their sandwiches that their wives had prepared for them. just enjoying the views and the rolling hills, when suddenly she happened upon another blonde sitting in a boat in the middle of the field, pulling the oars like her life depended.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

And he also had a lady friend coming over. So he warned the parrot not to cuss at her. In fact, he tied a ribbon to each of the parrot's legs and instructed him to pay the woman a compliment if she tugs on one of them. Day breaks and night falls 81. The accountant testified “the attorney is my brother,” but, the attorney testified that he did not have a brother. Who is lying? menders19 12. I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they were…The three you took. 72. If you had only one match and entered a dark doom containing an oil lamp, kindling, and a newspaper, which would you light first? Years ago I used to supply Filofaxes for the mafia. I was involved in very organised crime.” – Milton Jones and, as they argued amongst themselves, they kept throwing looks her way. After some time, one of them separated from the group to approach her. It was Doc.

The catcher and the umpire. 60. Beth’s mother has three daughters. One is called Lara, the other one is Sara. What is the name of the third daughter? If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half-hour, how long would it take before all the pills had been taken?An electric train has no smoke. 79. How is it possible for every single person to die in a plane crash but two people survived? A man and his wife go into town for a bit of retail therapy. After about 3 hours of walking up and down the high street looking in shops and on market stalls, the wife turns to her husband to say something, but he isn't there .