How To Eat To Live, Not to Die: Simple Scientific Approach To Foods that Prevent and Reverse Disease for Longer Life

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But it’s my fault for becoming a father and all that jazz, so I’m obligated to be alive against my will. That’s the lot I’ve given myself I suppose. I was just ‘existing’. Probably feeling worthless and feeling entitled to whichever woman (or women) suited my fancy that night. I have been working since I was 15 1/2 years old and even then I carry three jobs subway Rikers 3M and a place called three ring circus and accessory store I’ve always always worked and paid my own way this is the first time in my entire life that I have I’m in a hole I cannot pay the rent and a building we’ve lived in since 1994 after the Northridge quake I don’t know what to do I don’t have the energy to get up only when I have to work these two shifts I should already have gotten a second job and third job I just don’t it’s different this time I’m in therapy I’m on medication it’s just different I’m tired of struggling I’m so tired I don’t have it in me anymore and all I’ve ever wanted was to be an amazing mom and put my daughter to be proud of me which she is but now how could anybody be proud of what I’ve become in the last two months over two months I don’t even clean the house anymore dishes piled up in kitchen it’s never looked like this I’ve never not been able to pay rent and pay my bills

I wonder if you’re getting help for your mental health. Are you? If not, I hope you’ll try. You’ve been through severe trauma. There’s a quote I like: “Bear in the mind that the person who survives a suicide attempt has escaped attempted murder.” (That’s from John Maltsberger and colleagues, in the article Traumatic Subjective Experiences Invite Suicide. It’s typically behind a paywall, but one of the authors has posted it on ResearchGate.) I’m certain you aren’t useless and I don’t think your parents would think you are useless either. I’m probably not the best person to be trying to help you, I think little of myself but I see potential and worth in other people!Don’t get me wrong, people should be hopeful and do everything to thrive and live a happy life. But some of us are tired, exhausted and hopeless. So, what happened? I’m happy to tell you, but I’m not sure it matters. For me it was a powerful, personal confession to the Divine. But I think that there are as many ways to take a step, just one little step, away from our wounds and pains as there are ways to acquire them in the first place. To die and not have that resolved for him moreso than myself is just something I don’t want him to regret down the road. (As I did with my mother) I’m sorry that suicide hotlines haven’t helped you. I hope you’ll try again. There are so many different counselors that the next one may help. I have these issues and I have been trying my whole life to get help but I have no one and no money because I have been struggling just to make it and it’s too much I am drowning begging anyone to help and no one cares so I think it would be better to just end it all. I never should have been born in the first place. The only thing that’s been keeping me here is my kids but I’m no good for them like this. I can’t do this anymore.

I feel your pain, your struggle and your desperation. I too, am contained within a ‘perfect’ situation where I should want for nothing but yearn for solace. Do you ever have thoughts like these, and you do not want to kill yourself? Many people do. They want their life to end, but they don’t want to end their life. I’m grateful you have a therapist and are not alone in this darkest of times. Please know you can also call 988 to talk with someone at any time.You describe powerfully the ways that loss, pain, and illness can accumulate and wear down a person’s desire to live. I’m sorry you are in that painful place. I’m impressed, too, that in the midst of your painful words you made a joke. Comic relief — and also a great coping skill.

No. Please don’t give up. You are here for a purpose. Just reading your message is helping other people who consider your thoughts help to try and make sense of why we feel this way and so you are my connection to many more. You are worthy of all good in life. Hang in there. I wish the Government would change the laws and allow people who are in horrendous physical pain and suffering and also people who are in mental health suffering and want to finally call it a day on their terms . their decision, their informed choice, and they can do it at home in a dignified and peaceful manner. Truth is, nobody wants to hear your problems. Nobody really cares, and truthfully it doesnt matter anyway because no one can help you anyway; it is something you have to deal with on your own.My parents should never have had kids. They didn’t want kids; it was just what catholic people did in the 1950s. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to overcome who I was/am.