A Good Spanking

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Be sure you are not feeling angry during the spanking, as anger can make you hit too hard and thus increase your chance of causing injury or trauma to the child. Beyond just being pleasurable, spanking can also be connected to memories, a psychological theory known as ‘imprinting’ (no, not in the way it’s described in the Twilight books). It is meant to send a strong message, not to be used on a daily basis. And it should never be motivated by anger or meant to illicit feelings of shame or guilt.

Wuyts, E., et al. (2020). Between pleasure and pain: A pilot study on the biological mechanisms associated with BDSM interactions in dominants and submissives [Abstract]. Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.Smith, B. L. (2012, April). The case against spanking. American Psychological Association, 43(4),60

Labrecque, F., et al. (2020). What is so appealing about being spanked, flogged, dominated, or restrained? Answers from practitioners of sexual masochism/submission. Power play: People may find it sexually arousing to play with power roles, such as becoming dominant or submissive. Others may also find it freeing to release responsibility and power in a controlled environment. According to a 2015 article, people may take part in BDSM activities such as spanking for nonsexual reasons.

To avoid injury to your child, you should keep a safe distance from the genital area, the coccyx (tailbone) and the kidneys of the child. Begin the spanking. Strike the child's bottom gently, never hit hard. It doesn't take a lot of force to successfully discipline your child, and hitting too hard can cause injury or trauma. Plus, the symbolism of the act is just as important as the actual pain inflicted. Not hitting too hard is even more important with a spanking on the bare bottom and/or younger children. Firmly say no. Give a short, clear response to them in a stern voice. For example, "We do not throw snowballs at people's faces." However this is not the only reason people have a desire to be spanked as there are several other psychological theories which state other ideas. https://journalofpositivesexuality.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Parallels-Between-BDSM-and-Extreme-Ritual-Sagarin-Lee-Klement.pdf

Classical conditioning is a type of behaviourism that falls within this area, and acts an automatic response to prior learning – i.e. the spanking can be linked to something you’ve experienced in the past. Every major health organization has come out against spanking. And several international organizations have even issued a call for criminalizing corporal punishment. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) strongly opposes striking a child for any reason. According to AAP, spanking is never recommended. The experts are all in agreement on this fact: Research shows that spanking does more harm than good. 2. Spanking teaches aggression One patient of mine was very young when her father spanked her for something he believed she had done wrong. Her dad reacted very angrily, and spanked her hard on her bare bottom causing a lot of shame, rather than holding on to the shame it’s common for people to later in life turn the traumatic experience into a sexual one to help cope with what they have experienced, leading to a strong emotional connection between spanning and sex, which now manifests as a spanning desire or fetish. Making up. Have the child make amends if they wronged someone. For example, if your son said something mean to his sister, ask him how he could make it up to her by doing something nice for her. Offer suggestions if your child is struggling to think of something (e.g. "you could make her a card"). Time outs. A time out should last roughly 1 minute for each year of age (e.g. 2-minute time outs for a 2-year-old).Medical News Today has strict sourcing guidelines and draws only from peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We avoid using tertiary references. We link primary sources — including studies, scientific references, and statistics — within each article and also list them in the resources section at the bottom of our articles. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy. It should never be used for infants, and rarely for older kids with better communication abilities. Spiritual experience: Some people report that SM practices alter their state of consciousness, providing them with a sense of connection, wholeness, and mind expansion. A 2019 study looked at how Canadian university students thought about BDSM practices, with 60% of male participants and 31% of female participants having positive thoughts about whipping or spanking. Where can a person learn more about spanking therapy?

Logical consequences. Tell the child to clean up a mess they made, fix something they broke, or pay for a broken thing they can't fix. This teaches them to fix their own mistakes. (If they are too young to clean or pay for it, you can do it together with them.)

But if spanking is an accepted form of punishment in your home, what are the chances that in a moment of anger you might lapse and resort to this punishment when you shouldn’t, or more aggressively than you should?