This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships

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Perfect for a trivia night or a long trip, #TrainTeasers will both test your knowledge of this country`s rail system and enlighten you on the most colourful aspects of its long history. Meet trunk murderers, trainspotters, haters of railways, railway writers, Ministers for Transport good and bad, railway cats, dogs and a railway penguin. This is NOT a book for number-crunching nerds. Many of the answers are guessable by the intelligent reader. It is a quiz, yes, but also a cavalcade of historical incident and colour relating to a system that was the making of modern Britain.

I wrote this book for my ex-wife. For my son. For my mother and father. For my friends. For my clients. For you. Great read for anyone looking to improve themselves for the sake of a relationship. It is focused more on the Man, but he is sharing how his marrage ended and how he could have prevented it. Still a great read for females. On May 18, 2020, the feature story about me and my coaching work ran in the New York Times digitally, and it ran in the print edition on May 21. I get what this guy is trying to convey that he (and many men) should step up to be more accountable and ownership, but he shouldn't place all the blame on himself. His ex-wife was somewhat responsible of the divorce. I'd say it was 80/20. Not 100/0 like he's taking the martyrs role and going to die on his hill alone for the sake of responsibility and to get likes on his posts.Fray lists the "Invalidation Triple Threat", which are: thinking that your spouse's thoughts were wrong, or her feelings were wrong, or if you just understood what I did you would understand why what I did was fine.

One of the sexiest things a spouse can say to their spouse is, "I got this" and then do that thing. Even better if you don't have to be asked. Because your spouse doesn't want to be your parent. They want to be your adult partner.Matt Fray has a way of lacing truth with humor. He puts words to the human experience in a way that allows us to feel not only witnessed, but also to have hope rise from our all-too-common relational tragedies. I have loved his writing and his advice from the first day I encountered him, and this book is no exception. Thanks for the amazing work you do in the world, Matt." Mark Groves

I will skip the good parts and go straight to the problem (and there is good advice like the importance of listening instead of dismissing, etc). The problem is that this book belongs to the general relationship genre of "happy wife, happy life." That is, THE goal of the marriage is to make the wife happy. A husband can ONLY be happy if his wife is happy. This is disastrous advice. No one can make anyone else happy, and when both partners accept the goal of the marriage is to make the wife happy, it distorts the marriage. The husband becomes just a means to the end of a happy wife; and he will be treated like a means (and his wants and needs will be dismissed as unimportant). If we said "happy husband, happy life," we see how disastrous this type of advice is. And if I try to use the lessons here as counting for both parties in a marriage, my wife failing to take my plate to the sink when she is taking hers is suddenly not something to shrug about but a declaration of her not respecting me and and an act of ultimate selfishness. He admitted to many shortcomings and faults that he wasn’t aware of throughout his marriage. Such as always thinking, his feelings and preferences were the correct ones and his wife’s were the wrong ones. (Me). At the risk of being vulnerable , I can tell you that much of this book was uncomfortable to read because it is so damn relatable; cross out a few names, insert your own and away you go. All of us are guilty of the daily paper cuts, the micro aggressions that slowly whittle away the trust that nurtures connection in our marriages. Invalidation, fighting to be "right", misaligned priorities, inconsideration; these are the everyday habits that too many of us have that are slowly suffocating our closest relationships.Instead of reading this book, I recommend that you read a book by someone with training in working with couples (e.g., Gottman, Perel, any licensed marriage and family therapist, etc).